FAKE lang to a.. it's a JOKE only
I stole this from tsups ^-^
NURSING HISTORY
Patient's Name- Vhulva Black
Person obtaining History- Perry Cairre, RN
Age- 18
Sex- others
Civil status- single, NBSB
Religion- Catholic
Hospital/Patient #- 1408
Room #- 210
Address- book 1, Health Sciences Street, Library Village, Lesson City
Occupation- UST student nurse (UST-SN)
Race/nationality- Smartan
CHIEF COMPLAINT- headache, loss of weight, moodiness, antisocial, nose bleeding, hallucinations, hears "lubb-dupp" sounds, low grades, cough, edema, varicose veins, lethargic, loss of books in the locker
>what do you think caused you to get sick? studying for 8 straight hours since evening 'til dawn for 1 whole prelim week
>was there a change in your usual way of life? if so, how? "Yes. I never slept, transformed to a geek, and ate books"
>with whom do you live? with my stethoscope
>pastime- studying
>self-treatment: sleep
>were your problems relieved by the treatment? not at all
>effect of treatment- low grades, unfinished homework, wasted time, 3 in MP
>difficulty in hearing? always hear "lubb-dupp" sounds everywhere, everytime
>fluid intake- decreased
>fluids you prefer- water, water, coffee, coffee, coffee, coke, coke, shake, shake
>weight- underunderwight
>food intake- decreased
>foods you prefer to eat- anything
>usual source of food- medicine cafeteria, hospital canteen, hospital cafeteria, hospital, hospital, hospital........and classroom
>bowel movement- contipated, due to stress
>urination- seldom
>breathing- hyperventilating
>lung sounds- "waaaaa-shhhhh"
>heart sounds- "lag-got"
VITAL SIGNS : 37.5°C, 110/70, RR=21, PR=71
LABORATORY RESULTS
1. fecalysis- positive for Malabacterium famadicens (causative agent of Grabe's disease)
-positive for pages of books
color- dark brown
consistency- formed
form: star-shaped
2. Guiang test (test for visible blood)- positive in epistaxis
3. urinalysis- positive for crystallized brain cells
nimbus, cloudy urine
color- sunny yellow
pH- 5.55
4. CBC- low RBC count, low Hgb, high WBC
5. Sputum test- positive for Microphonella peňa (causative agent of Chewing Cough)
6. encephalography- observed overabundant brain cells
DIAGNOSIS
1. Epistaxis- nose bleeding during lecture hours (ex. Ana-Phy)
2. Chewing Cough- persistent coughing on the microphone
3. Grabe’s disease- characterized by trauma, stress, increased blood pressure, dramatic decline in grades
4. Nerdiasis/ Bookiasis- higher than normal number of brain cells
- characterized by abnormally high IQ and being grade-conscious
5. edema- related to standing for hours in RLE
6. Korotkoff’s syndrome- strange hearing of “lubb-dupp” sounds
7. Sleepylis- falling asleep during classes
- characterized by nightmares
8. Cram-Panic’s disorder: screaming lung sounds and panic state of the heart
9. Rectoman Fever- loss of books in the locked locker
INTERVENTIONS/TREATMENTS
1. Shiftendazole – nursing isn’t for you
2. Sleepiotic- have enough sleep
3. Rectoman Toxoid- remove all your things in the locker
4. increase food and fluid intake
5. high-fiber diet
6. close monitoring of VS
7. stay away from M. famadicens habitat
8. study…..normally
9. pray before sleeping and taking exams
10. take multivitamins
EVALUATION: (*wait for the results, come this 2nd sem)
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